Inspired (of course) by Dante.
Circle Number One
Inhabited by those truly unaware of the effect politics has on their lives. They spend eternity circumnavigating a large cylinder, always surprised to find themselves back where they started but never realizing why.
Circle Number Two
Inhabited by those who know what is wrong but believe themselves powerless to change it. They spend eternity a stumbling around in the dark, through an ever changing obstacle course they will never be capable of understanding.
Circle Number Three
Inhabited by those that vote against their own best interests, whether because of a single issue, or because they believe they are something they are not. They are presented with a series of choices, only one of which will truly satisfy them, while the others seem to offer bounties, but provide only pain. Every time they chose poorly, an extra poor choice is added to their next set of selections.
Circle Number Four
Inhabited by the politicians who do little but protect their own little fiefdoms, showing no compunction to do anything but that which is most politically advantageous to themselves, but having little general effect on the world. This circle is so crowded that the residents are unable to find space for themselves. They spend eternity searching fruitlessly for vacant space that is filled instantly upon their seeing it.
Circle Number Five
Inhabited predominantly by journalists who have abdicated all personal responsibility to inform the masses and instead focus on the trivial and tawdry. They spend eternity alone and ignored, unable to even hear themselves speak.
Circle Number Six
Inhabited by those that knowingly screw their constituents for personal gain and power. Many pundits also spend eternity here, separate from the journalists above, for they assumed the role of expert when that title was not warranted. All residents of this circle are tormented by bees who fly into their mouths and sting whenever they open them to speak.
Circle Number Seven
Inhabited by the cynical and ruthless enablers. Not politicians themselves, but the mudslingers and scorched earthers. Lee Atwater is the king and Karl Rove is his prince. The effluent from all the circles above them rains down perpetually and they can find no shelter nor means of cleaning themselves.
Circle Number Eight
Inhabited by politicians who achieved their position through no effort of their own and proceeded to exercise power in ways that indicate otherwise, to the great detriment of the many. George W. Bush resides here with a look of complete surprise. He and the rest are to spend eternity toiling, and at the end of each day, all that they have achieved will disappear and they will have to start again from scratch, every day, forever.
Circle Number Nine
Inhabited by Dick Cheney, Richard Nixon, and their ilk that use political power in the most cynical ways possible as part of an actual elected office. Tom Delay also resides here. They spend eternity holding up the weight of all the circles above, never able to relax lest they and the rest of them be crushed.
5 comments:
Dude, you should write the novel. Or at least, copyright this.
Very clever Mr. Meth. I hope that the hounds of hell are not unleashed if Obama does not win the nomination.
Let's all hope that Obama wins solidly and that he comes out on top in the general election.
Brilliant. Thought I would change the "bite" of bees to "sting."
Also - there may be a way of explaining those in circle 9 so as to illustrate their heinousness even more distinctly. I would put Rumsfeld and Cheney here, but Nixon seemed like a somewhat different political animal. He had some policy stances, at least, that were based on logic, rather than pure, self-gratifying acts of evil. His main downfall was his paranoia, which was almost more of a sickness than a cause for damnnation. Plus - unlike our current crop of war mongers, he at least has the (albeit feeble) excuse that he didn't have Vietman to learn from.
Bites to sting - done.
As for Nixon, his willful disregard for the law went well beyond paranoia, though perhaps Cheney is in another league altogether. Maybe there's a tenth circle, for him and various despots, including Saddam.
Rumsfeld doesn't quite fit since he's not really a politician - he was just a 'civil servant' all those years in the goverment, one of those people whose longevity hint at competence while belying the truth of his skill at playng the game.
Very well done. And yes, I like the idea of another level for despots and the like.
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