1.14.2008

Your mama's so fat...

Discuss...

33 comments:

Stephen Cummings said...

she has a personal profile on Google Earth.

Pat said...

buh dum bum PAH!

Dan said...

She had her senior pictures taken by Voyager 2.

Dan said...

Her roller skates require a "Class C" license.

Dan said...

She had to get a restraining order on Captain Ahab.

Pat said...

Excellent, though in all cases I was specifically referring to your mama.

And by 'your' I mean everyone's mama.

Dan said...

Santa Claus asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she said, "Your belt."

Stephen Cummings said...

If she has one more pie a-la-mode, she's gonna need her own zip code.

Dan said...

She moved across town and her congressman was accused of gerrymandering

Dan said...

her sweat ebbs and flows due to the gravitational pull of the moon

Dan said...

she never learned than elevators go up, too

Dan said...

PETA wants to talk to her about the dead dolphins found in her fishnet stockings

Dan said...

her ass has icecaps

Dan said...

when she goes to Red Lobster, she orders a double helping of "All the Shrimp You Can Eat"

Dan said...

home movies of her don't play on a flat panel TV

Dan said...

she got a Lifetime Achievement Award from Hormel

Pat said...

Almost universally excellent.

Pat said...

...when you were born no one noticed for five years.

Pat said...

...5 out of 5 dentists agreed - your mama's fat!

Dan said...

When she tries on clothes, she uses a full-length mirror. Sideways.

Dan said...

Her favorite color is Yellow #5.

Pat said...

...she just had her clitoris pierced, with a hula hoop.

Dan said...

When she gets The Fever for the Flavor of a Pringles, the air-conditioning kicks in

Dan said...

if she doesn't get a tan, people are going to start confusing her with the Metrodome

Pat said...

...Sir Edmund Hillary's dying wish was to climb her.

Dan said...

she's as delicate as a princess. The Pacific Princess

Dan said...

when she's sitting on a good idea, just feel lucky that you're not the idea

Dan said...

Her rickshaw driver took one look, then brought the Taj Mahal to her. It was easier.

Pat said...

...she's a full voting member of OPEC.

...Willie Nelson is offering her pot to fuel his tour bus.

Stephen Cummings said...

The President is considering opening up emergency flight lanes around her gravitational field.

Stephen Cummings said...

She had a cameo in Raiders of the Lost Ark... as the deadly boulder

Stephen Cummings said...

Her flatuance is tracked by NORAD

C.F. Bear said...

The hairs on her head are an inch apart.