Convention livebloggin'

Cuz all my chores is done...

The impulse is simply too great to MST3K this bitch...even if for only my entertainment.

Meg Whitman..."The spirit of John McCain is the thread that runs through the history of this country..." he's that old.

Carly Fiorina, another Republican who used executive power inappropriately, KILLED. Possibly literally. The audience is barely moving. Ohhh, there was a twitch. Taking 10 point plans to new levels of boredom. John McCain will bring your favorite childhood pet back to life. He really will.

Two goons interviewed by Gwen Ifill, one a Romney goon, the other a Huckabee goon, both practically asleep in their enthusiasm for McCain/Palin. Trying to make the issue about how the Clintons are still important.

Oh...wait...black Republican...just back from being hunted by Dick Cheney...a rare prize indeed. You can hear Cheney say it, "tonight boys we taste man flesh!" And not in the wide stance way.

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I'm thinking Obama can take Steele in hoops any day.

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Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! A suit is walking onto the stage under its own power..oh wait, it's Mitt Romney. Here we go....god people in MA were stupid to elect this jackass, though he was LESS of a jackass, but not enough less to get me to vote for him. Sun metaphors...rising in the west? Is that another Mormon weirdness?

LIBRULS!!!! GOD DAMN LIBRULS!!!!

Liberals are responsible for stopping nuclear power? Cheese and rice! Maybe as the most expensive source of power in the history of MAN FUCKING KIND we liberals were being fiscally conservative.

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No teenager wants to go to a school free of pornography and promiscuity.

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Not the party of big brother? HELLO warrantless wiretapping.

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And why did mortgages go off the rails you fuck? Ask Phill Gramm, stupid whiner.

Romney is actually one of the otherwise harmless villains in a Scooby Doo episode. He's actually the giant pterodactyl the hapless farmer rigs up to fly, succeeding where generations of engineers have failed. Inside the suit is some guy in bib overalls and a seedcorn hat. He would ahve been elected president if not for you meddling voters!

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Romney done...PBS trots out the historians....more boring than their usual filler....

David Brooks...give him credit for not being his normal right-apologizing self through these two conventions. He's truly providing a reasonably balanced commentary.

Huckabee coming up....oooh.......

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HUCK!

LIBRULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somewhere in America tonight, bricks are going through windows, pitchforks are being sharpened, and torches are being dug out of the basement (who has torches in their basement?)

"Witnessed racism"... mostly by people like you in the audience.

How truly bizarre it is that the two single greatest issues facing Republicans are taxes and abortion. Both cause ripples of excitement to flow through the crowd. It's creepy.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Lower taxes!

God forbid that the rest of the world think highly of our president.

Apparently socialism is contagious.

Most Americans want as much government as they benefit from. It can be big as hell as long as their on the good side of things. Thus Alaska, a place that benefits most from government and claims to hates it more vocally than anywhere.

He was in college before he knew showering didn't have to hurt. One phrase - soap on a roap.

Not the tire inflation thing again. Why is that a point of ridicule? IT'S RIGHT YOU WILLFULLY IGNORANT FUCKS!

Jokes from cheap lies about Biden's vote totals.

Nothing Republicans like more than tearing other people down - not even screams of lower taxes get them as thrilled.

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Did you know John McCain was shot down?

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Teacher refuses children desks until they answer the riddle of the Sphinx, or something. Batshit insane. Demands children fight in war to be able to sit down in desks, or something.

John McCain bought my freedom. Cindy McCain bought John McCain his senate seat.

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RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!1

not yet.

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Governor of Hawaii. Wonder why she's not on the ticket? Another firebrand, that's for sure.

Interesting...many stereotypical traits of a lesbian...and no wedding ring. Wonder what the crazies in the room know about her. Actually per Wikipedia, twice divorced, no children.

Between McCain, Rudy and the governor of Hawaii you've got six seven marriages right there. Thems some good family values.

With a name like Linda Lingle, she ought to be in porn.

With a look like Linda Lingle, I'm glad she's not.

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Maui - 117,000+ residents. Wasilla - 6000.

Obama-Biden no executive experience....along with McCain. Damn senators, not running shit.

John McCain has NEVER been the head of anything either stupid twat.

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North to the Future!

Alaska and Delaware = small, just in different ways. 250 x Delaware = Alaska.

That's math you can believe in.

"Sarah has 'broad' appeal" - sure did to McCain, whose real desire is to be sultan.

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Diane Sawyer walks in with the 'first dude'.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO great vice president WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

back to the historians...introduced every freaking time they talk to them. I feel like Richard Norton Smith and Michael Beschloss are members of my family already. Not sure about that Pineal Smith cat.

Michael Beschloss has an odd habit of extraneous nodding.

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

9119119119119119119119119119119119119119119119911........

Another Republican the Republican base HATES.

MCCAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're hiring someone...you're a Republican...you could hire a good American worker...or you could hire Mitt Romney's groundskeeper....

John McCain is GI JOE!

As a young man he joined the military, his father was an admiral, his grandfather was an admiral....

And now for some Obama bashing.....

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Mocking Chicago machine politics...from the party of Tom Delay and Jack Abramoff.

Rudy Giuliani + $60,000,000 = 1 delegate

Now that's getting results.

Celebrity senator? Really? Jeez these clowns are pathetic.

At least Rudy knows enough to say 'he's never run a military unit'

Never led anything, except a $150M start-up with 500 employees that beat the equivalent of Microsoft.

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3am? John McCain takes sleep aids.

At least Giuliani speaks with emotion.....

But man, the degree of nasty attacks, while not surprising, should turn people off.

Ch ch ch changes...turn to face the strange...AHHH Rudy!

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Welcome Mighty Tom!

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According to my sources in Terre Haute, John McCain is on his way to the arena!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

I mean energy center.

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MT and I are now liveblogging simultaneously - he in the comments....

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67% of Americans think Iraq was a mistake! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Who are you trying to appeal to you jackass?

John McCain gamed the public finance system! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

We're all Georgians? HUH? Should we have attacked the Russians? That's what the Georgians did.

Multilateral institutions SUCK!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Harry Truman's UN SUCKS! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

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"Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby...and get ourselves a snack!"

MAYORS!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Rudy bringing all the smears out.

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Palin's daughter looks riveted!

MAVERICK!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

How many politicians in American history have a 4 month old, either men or women?

Not a single mention of 911?!!! Holy crap, he must be medicated.

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PALIN!!!!!!!!!

NAUGHTY!!!!!!!!!

Not going live blog this - going to actually pay attention....

But one thing...her accent....oy...so much like the cartoon MN or ND accent. Someone ask her to bring a hot dish!

What the pollsters and pundits forgot was how fucking pathetic the rest of the Republican candidates were. John McCain was 'none of the above'.

OK, I can't stop now.

EYE Rack.

Hopefully she'll say newkyular.

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The service of your children and relatives is quite honorable, and so is the service of Beau Biden.

As the recently outed insemenator of a seventeen year old girl, I am NOT loving being on national tv.

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Special needs! WOOOOOO!!!!

From the party that fought every piece of legislation making life easier for the disabled!

Since when are snowmobiles snowmachines?

Only one husband. She's got most of them beat, though i think Cindy McCain has only been married to JM. She was 8 when they were married.

CHUCK AND SALLY!!!!!!!!!

Young farmer and haberdasher? How many people watching tonight know what a haberdasher does? That is NOT the language of small town America, at least not since 1955.

PTA!!!!!!!!!!!

Very cute smallest children.

Followed by close-up of tight shirted Republican hussy.

Ooh protestor!

Clinging to religion and guns. The next slogan of the Republican Party.

Wherever he goes, whatever he does, he's gonna come through it together....

Not in good standing of Washington elite, whose president is......John McCain!

COUNTRY!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

STATUS QUO!!! oops, not supposed to cheer for that one....

Possibly the first woman on Mt Rushmore...at least based on the visuals I'm seeing.

From the Simpson's Movie - "Welcome to Alaska, here's your oil money."

EBAY!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

VETO!!!! of course Bush exercised NONE until the Dems took over in 2006.

Lying about the Bridge to Nowhere! WOOOOOO!!!!

NATURAL GAS!!! oops that was me.

Hello St Cloud!

GAS!!! me again

Alaska has lots of gas!

Drill baby drill? Oof

Layin' more pipe in a McCain/Palin ticket. OH YEAH, the hair's coming down!

Lying about Obama's legislative record!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Sarah Barracuda has arrived. Zing! Zing! Zing!

Oooh, ascribing delusions of grandeur to Obama. Parting the waters? WOW

MIRANDA! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

She's proving definitively that she should not be taken lightly, she's just as big an asshole as any Republican in my lifetime.

She's better at using the teleprompter than McCain.

Palin/McCain!!!! Swap the ticket.

Of course, she supported Buchanan in 1996 and 2000. WOOOOOO!!!

Man her speech is NASTY. She didn't write it, but man, her willingness to speak it with such zeal speaks volumes. She's an asshole.

Only veterans can be president in 2008. 2004? not so much. They mocked veterans that year.

God they are assholes.

Nearly 20 million people voted for Obama. She and her handlers just shat on every one of them. And possibly every black person in America.

If America is watching this, I hope they see this as the nasty naked face of modern Republicanism. Contempt, spite, and nothing positive to say about anyone except themselves.

Assholes.

Assholes.

Assholes.

McCain's pulling an Obama.

Man, you know the kid that got the daughter pregnant was NOT buying into this. Jesus Christ. I'm guessing he's on his third pair of underwear.

According to David Brooks this was an occasion of 'unalloyed Republican joy.'

Out fucking standing.

She did a fine job. Consider the gloves fully off. Anyone that nasty deserves both rhetorical barrels. Nothing below the belt, but full blast, no nonsense. Biden needs to tear her to bits.

Good night.