3.30.2005

I Propose a Change

Let's get rid of the odd custom of saying 'bless you' or 'god bless you' when someone sneezes. Instead, I say, encourage more public flatulence, and say 'bless you' when someone rips a good one.

Sneezing spreads disease, and it's not like any of us think some part of our soul is escaping when we sneeze, so can we stop with the blessings?

Farting, on the other hand, brings joy. It should be celebrated. The smell, of course, will have to be tolerated.

But sneezing? Fuck that.

3 comments:

Dan said...

I appreciate what you're saying, but I've always liked "bless you," or whatever sort of followup happens after a sneeze. In a world where strangers rarely acknowledge each other anymore, it's kind of one of the last vestiges of courtesy, don't you think?

Tim Sulser used to say "bless you" after we farted. To me, it always sounded like he was uncomfortable.

I've always generally apologized if I've farted in front of Sharon. I sort of think the misery of the stink outweighs the fun of the sound, unless you're hanging out with friends. There's difference between having fun farting around with guy friends and farting around your wife, I think, and it's somewhat related to how it would be relatively humourous if I pushed you backwards over a stump, yet it wouldn't be humourous at all if I did it to Sharon. Know what I'm saying?

Anyway, in our house, it's called a "toot," and we neither celebrate nor fear it in front of Lucy. It simply exists.

C.F. Bear said...

I would like to see a post from Mixdorf that didn't use any form of the word fuck in it for at least back to back posts. :)

Pat said...

Not a chance. Fucker.